


A Lifetime of Loving You

by spotedanddotted



Category: The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde - Robert Louis Stevenson
Genre: Broken Bones, Canon Era, Childhood Friends, Coming of Age, Daddy Issues, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Growing Up Together, Jealousy, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Period-Typical Homophobia, Pining, Possessive Behavior, Pre-Canon, Romance, Slow Burn, Tags May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-18 02:14:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29360859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spotedanddotted/pseuds/spotedanddotted
Summary: Mr. Utterson is in love with his close friend, Henry Jekyll, but had sworn himself to silence over the matter until he simply can't take it anymore.
Relationships: Henry Jekyll/Gabriel John Utterson, Henry Jekyll/Original Character(s)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 23





	1. Alone in the Garden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel is sitting in his back garden while his parents have a nice dinner party. He is mystified by his companion Henry Jekyll who he deems as ‘eccentric’ 2 weeks later he encounters Henry at the park where they climb a tree together.

Gabriel’s parents were wonderful hosts. They were charming and polite, and they hosted some of the most pleasant dinner parties. However, Gabriel was rather shy. He didn’t talk much, for he never had much to say. He would rather keep his head buried in his books, or be left alone to play with his toy theatre. He was very good at entertaining himself, his parents often said. He had no friends other than Hastie Lanyon, but it was almost impossible not to be friends with Hastie. They sat side-by-side at school and he was very nice. 

But tonight his parents were hosting a dinner party, and there were too many people in the dining room for Gabriel’s liking, so he was sitting in the garden, alone. Well, he would have been alone if it weren’t for one Henry Jekyll. 

Henry Jekyll was strange, to say the least. He came from a very wealthy family, but he didn’t dress like it. His white, cotton shirt was too big for him and often stained with dirt and other debris from outside. His suspenders were never on him quite right, he usually had one of the straps falling off his shoulder. His brown shorts revealed his bruised legs and scraped knees, and his socks were never at the same length, one would be pulled all the way up, while the other falling down just below his ankle. His hair was wild and wavy, he kept it shaggy, letting the golden-brown curls and waves remain untamed. He usually had marks on his face, dirt, sometimes a stray cut, and freckles across his cheeks and nose. However, he was looking a little more put-together tonight. His shirt and face were clean and his knees bandaged. 

The two ten-year-olds were sitting together in the grass, they were both looking up at the night sky. It was cold, so Gabriel had pulled his knees up to his chest, Henry, however, was sitting funny. His bottom must have still hurt from when he got caned at school the other day for skipping class. 

“So,” Gabriel began, making a poor attempt to converse with the other little boy, “What do you like to do?”

Henry shrugged not looking away from the stars, “I play piano, read, play chess. Normal things.” Said he, “What about yourself?”

“I like to read too,” looking down at the grass below him, trying to remember what his mother said when he complained about Henry being strange after she told him to expect his company. “So, your father’s a lawyer?” Gabriel asked as if he didn’t know already. “ _ And his mother is dead, so don’t bring up his mother.”  _ He told himself. 

Henry nodded, “I’ve heard he’s a very good lawyer, but I wouldn’t know. I find law incredibly boring.” 

“Well, what do you find interesting?” Gabriel asked

“I like science,” Henry answered giving him a sly smile, looking Gabriel in the eye for the first time that evening. 

“Science?” the former echoed. “What’s so good about science?” 

Henry chuckled, “I’ve always found I ask too many questions. Science has always been the answer.” 

“Always?” Gabriel asked. 

“Always and forever.” Henry declared. 

Gabriel liked how sure Henry was of himself. He liked the spark of passion in his eyes as his favorite subject was brought up. In fact, Henry had very pretty eyes. He was surprised he hadn’t noticed them before. They were soft and icy, but somehow vibrant. They were the bluest eyes he’d ever seen, swirling ponds of silver and sapphire. He stared into the other boy’s eyes, shining in the moonlight. Those big blue eyes sparkled like diamonds. It made Gabriel feel funny. It was warm and it made his palms sweaty. It was soft, yet intense. Gabriel was conflicted, he wanted to leap up and run, run away from Henry and never look him in the eye again, but he could not bring himself to tear his eyes away from Henry’s irises. They were so blue and so beautiful, he didn’t fully know why but he set a hand on top of Henry’s hand like he had seen his father do to his mother before, to show affection. Maybe the eight-year-old was just tired, but everything about this moment felt magical. There was something in the air, a strange feeling of...Well, Gabriel didn’t know. All he knew was that this was a very grown-up feeling and it would be years until he fully understood it. 

“Are you boys playing nice?” A woman’s voice cut through the silence. They both looked behind them. Mrs. Utterson was wearing a very nice evening dress, and Mr. Jekyll was standing next to her, looking as handsome as ever in a very expensive suit. 

“Yes, mother,” Gabriel nodded. 

“Come, Henry, it’s getting late.” Mr. Jekyll said. Henry nodded and stood, taking his father’s hand. He waved Gabriel goodbye as his father led him into the house and out the front door after they both grabbed their coats. 

“Mother, do you think Henry can come back sometime soon?” Gabriel asked after the Jekylls were gone. 

“I thought you said he was strange.” Mrs. Utterson smirked. 

“Well, yes, he is a little strange, but in a very fascinating way,” Gabriel replied. 

“Yes, we call that ‘eccentric’.” Mr. Utterson chuckled. 

“Eccentric,” The boy echoed.

Henry Jekyll was eccentric. 

\---

A little over a fortnight later Gabriel’s aunt took him to the park on a fine Sunday afternoon. She was toting baby Richard around in his stroller. Even though it was a nice day, Gabriel would have preferred to be in his room with his books. He didn’t like spending time with his cousin Richard. He found the two-year-old to be incredibly bothersome. At least the toddler had fallen asleep in his stroller, Gabriel much preferred that over him crying. 

“Look, Gabriel, there are some kids your age over there,” His aunt said, gesturing to a nearby tree, “Why don’t you go play with them?” Gabriel nodded and ventured over to the small group. He knew most of them from school. They crowded around the tree all looking up. He recognized Hastie. 

“What’s going on?” Gabriel asked approaching the other boy. 

“Henry Jekyll’s up in that tree,” Hastie said. Gabriel looked up and there sat Henry Jekyll waving at him sitting on the highest branch that could possibly support the little boy’s weight. 

“Henry!” Gabriel gaped, “Get down from there, you’ll fall!” 

“I’ve done this lots of times, I won’t fall” Henry called from his place in the tree. “You should climb up here too, Gabe I think you’ll like it.”

Gabriel stared at him for a moment. “Alright,” said he, and the little boy mounted the tree. He grabbed the lowest branch and hoisted himself up, ignoring the other children.  _ “Why am I doing this?”  _ He asked himself as he clambered up, but then he heard Henry’s voice telling him what a good job he was doing, and he remembered. He struggled, losing his footing a few times, but he managed to catch himself. It was rather difficult, he had never climbed a tree before. But when he finally got close enough Henry’s blue eyes welcomed him. He held out a hand and helped Gabriel up to the branch he was sitting on. 

“See, isn’t it nice up here?” Henry said, “I bet if we got high enough we’d be able to see all of London.” 

“I don’t know, we’re pretty high off the ground,” Gabriel worried, “What if we fall?”

“You worry too much, Gabriel.” Said Henry, “I have cousins that live out in the countryside, and they do it all the time. I’ve never seen one of them fall out of a tree.”

“That’s preposterous!”

“ _ I’ve _ never fallen out of a tree,” Henry said holding his head up. 

“Yet.” Gabriel corrected. 

“What?” 

“You haven’t fallen out of a tree  _ yet. _ ” 

Henry rolled his eyes and laughed. Silence fell between the boys as they watched the world around them from their high vantage point. 

“If I did fall,” Henry began after a while, “would you catch me?” 

“Of course I would!” Gabriel exclaimed, looking into Henry’s eyes, the sunlight glimmering in them. Henry smiled. It was a very sad smile. 

“You are a very good person, Gabriel Utterson,” Henry said. 

Gabriel blushed and found himself looking at Henry’s lips that were pulled into a smile. He wondered if they were as soft as they looked. 

Hours passed, but it only felt like seconds as they laughed together and watched the city hustle and bustle from atop the tree. The world below them was now washed in golden rays from the setting sun and Gabriel’s aunt was calling for him. The sky was flushed pink, just like Gabriel’s cheeks as he observed the rays of light striking Henry perfectly. The sun caught in his eyes flawlessly, making his blue eyes shine and sparkle bathing them in a warm glow. 

“You are very handsome, Henry.” Gabriel found himself saying. 

“Thank you,” Henry said tucking his shaggy hair behind his ear. “Do you need help down?” He asked, extending his hand. Gabriel nodded and took his hand. Henry gently and carefully made his way down the tree, guiding his companion down with him, and returned the other little boy to his aunt. 

“Did you have fun?” She asked over baby Richard’s fussing. 

Gabriel nodded, and looked behind him, seeing Henry running off to meet his father. Mr. Jekyll looked composed and suave but annoyed as he took in the appearance of his disheveled son. He picked a twig out of Henry’s hair and sighed. 

“Who’s your friend?” Gabriel’s aunt asked. 

“That’s Henry Jekyll,” He answered, “He’s very eccentric.” 

He could hear his aunt chuckling, “I can tell,” said she, putting Richard back in his stroller and hedging in the direction of Gabriel’s house. 

That night Gabriel laid in bed on his back, staring up at the ceiling. He couldn’t get Henry out of his mind. He heard his laugh echoing in his skull. Those blue eyes flashed before his eyes, and he was gripped with something completely indescribable. A warmth in his soul which made his heart beat faster and his breath fall short. He was plagued by an aching desire to be with Henry. His heart knew that he would never grow tired of the other boy. That the brunette would never overstay his welcome in his mind and that every touch would be cherished, no matter how small or accidental. He knew that he would never have  _ enough  _ of Henry. And he’d rather spend the rest of his days with Henry rather than any other person in the world. 

Gabriel didn’t know it yet, but he had fallen utterly and hopelessly in love with Henry Jekyll.


	2. Broken bones and broken hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Young Henry has broken his arm once again, so Gabriel decides to pay him a visit.

Gabriel ran a hand through his copper hair. The other hand smoothed the collar of his shirt as he stood waiting patiently in front of the mahogany door. A very tall and very handsome man opened the door. His golden-brown hair was neatly combed with a streak of silver running through it. His eyes were a lovely shade of navy, but his eyelids were set low and dark as sleeplessness hung over them. His spectacles sat low on his nose, and he looked on with an icy expression. However cold and curt, he was still very active. The suit he was wearing was tailored to fit him perfectly. He was very dashing, and never failed to impress Gabriel. 

“Hello, Mr. Jekyll,” Gabriel began sheepishly, “I’m here to see Henry.” 

Mr. Jekyll nodded and led Gabriel into the house and out the back door. 

Henry was sitting in the garden, rays of sunlight floated down to warm his skin and kiss him gently. He was resting against the trunk of a tree, his crystal blue eyes darting across the page of a book, looking completely picturesque. Well, aside from his left arm that was bandaged up tightly and sitting by his side. Gabriel didn’t understand how Henry  _ looked like that.  _ At ten-years-old, Gabriel was in a very awkward stage in his life. His legs were too long for the scrawny torso they attached to, and yet his feet stayed too small. He was very unbalanced and clumsy. He only had a few months on Henry. He was born in January, Henry was born the following August. And he was taking his new leap towards adulthood very well. His freckles, much like the innocent days of his boyhood, were fading and now he was obviously getting older. He looked more and more like his father with each passing day. Henry hadn’t noticed Gabriel come into the garden and had not torn his eyes away from his book. Gabriel didn’t mind, it gave him ample time to admire Henry’s features. 

“You broke your arm again.” Gabriel finally said. 

“No,” Henry said flatly, not looking up from his book, “It’s the other arm this time.” 

Gabriel sighed “oh, Harry,” He shook his head. 

Henry jumped up at that nickname, not even bothering to mark his place in his book, he simply tossed it aside, “Oh Gabriel! I didn’t recognize your voice at first. You sound just like your father.”

“Don’t remind me,” Gabriel looked down at his shoes as he flushed pink. 

Henry giggled and patted the spot next to him, “Come sit,” 

Gabriel nodded and sat down on Henry’s left side, close to the boy’s bandaged appendage. 

“How are you, Henry?” Gabriel asked letting his eyes flick downward to look at the cast Henry’s arm sat in. 

Henry followed his gaze and flexed his fingers that were just visible from where his arm sat in his cast. “It hurts, but the doctor set it and it’s on the mend. It’s not that bad of a break.” Henry chuckled, “My father is very sore with me over it, but my aunt says that little boys are  _ supposed to _ get hurt and break bones.” Henry shrugged. “But, I’m glad you’re here Gabriel. It’s been dreadfully boring.”

“Oh, I’m sure it hasn’t been that dull,” Gabriel said. 

“But it has! There’s only so much reading a boy can do before he goes mad.” Henry sighed. “Besides, my father won’t let me let me leave the house until this heals,” he said gesturing to his arm, “It took a lot of persuading for him to let me come out to the garden today.” 

“It is a very nice day to-day,” Gabriel said looking up at the leaves of the tree above them, stained chartreuse from the gold sunlight striking them. Then he turned his attention back to his partner. “How did you break your arm?” He asked. 

Henry pointed up to the branch above him, well, where there should have been a branch above him. But it was missing and had left jagged splinters of wood behind. “It looked deceptively sturdy.” He said. 

“Oh Harry, I told you I’d catch you if you fell, but you have to let me know when you’re off climbing trees.” 

Henry giggled, “It wasn’t that bad of a fall, don’t worry yourself, Gabriel.”

The other boy sighed, “Not this time but,” he began, setting a hand on Henry’s knee, “but what if I’m not there to catch you when you get too high up? I just don’t like seeing you get hurt.” 

“I’m  _ fine, _ ” Henry said sharply, “I’m tough, I can take anything.” After his little flush of annoyance, his mischievous little smile was back. 

“Just make me a promise Henry,” Gabriel asked, grabbing the other boy’s right hand, “if you do ever climb too high, and you think you might fall, whatever the time of day, call on me, and I’ll be there.” 

“I promise,” Henry said softly, squeezing his friend’s hand. 

They sat together in the grass for a while getting away from the more serious tone until Henry asked a wild question, as he often did. 

“Have you ever kissed a girl?” 

Gabriel blushed in surprise, “No, of course not!” 

“I have,” Henry said, “It wasn’t-I didn’t like it.” He stammered in a hushed voice. “I kissed the neighbors daughter, she’s a year younger than us. I don’t know why I did it, I don’t like her very much, but, I kissed her, well it had to be a week ago now,” He paused to think about it, “It wasn’t what I expected.” 

“Well, what did you expect?” Gabriel asked.

“I expected it to be soft and warm, and, I don’t know it just wasn’t,” He sighed and looked at the ground, “It wasn’t what I wanted.”

“Do you love her?” Gabriel asked, his heart falling into the pit of his stomach. 

“No, absolutely not.” Henry shook his head, “she’s very annoying, and she doesn’t care much for me either, but we were both curious and we wanted to try it.” He shrugged. 

“Well, maybe that’s why it wasn’t what you wanted. Because you don’t love her.” Gabriel supposed. 

“Possibly.” Henry said, “from what I hear, falling in love is not worth it.” 

“What do you mean?” Gabriel asked. 

Henry got up and held his hand out to Gabriel, “I’ll show you.”

He took Henry’s hand and got to his feet, letting the other little boy lead him to and over the fence around the garden. Henry dragged Gabriel behind him not saying a word. They marched down the street until they made it to a lonely cemetery. Henry opened the iron gate and beckoned Gabriel inside. He ran over to an unkept headstone and pointed. Gabriel read the inscription.

_ Clara Jekyll, March 17th, 1804 -- August 7th, 1836, Loving wife and mother.  _

August 7th, 1836. That was Henry’s birthday. 

“Pople says my father was a different person before my mother died. He wasn’t as cold, he wasn’t as distant.” Henry frowned, “As I said, it’s not worth it. If I were to fall in love with someone and then have to suffer through the loss of them, well, I don’t think I would be able to.” Henry looked back at Gabriel who was holding back tears. 

“I’m so sorry,” was all he could manage. 

“I never met her, that takes a lot of the pain away,” Henry chuckled sadly, “It’s worse on my father. He doesn’t talk about her, he took down all the pictures of her, he doesn’t ever come here. He can’t stand the fact that she’s gone. I couldn’t live like that getting married and falling in love with someone and then suddenly...” Henry trailed off, the words were getting caught in his throat, his face was pink, and the tears were now leaking onto his cheeks. 

“That’s a very cynical way to live, Henry Jekyll,” Gabriel said, cupping the other boy’s cheek, wiping away the tears. He wanted so bad to convince his partner that this was simultaneously the stupidest and saddest thing he had ever heard. But he just couldn't come up with the right words. He opened and closed his mouth several times before he realized he was crying too. He did the first thing that came to mind and pulled Henry into a tight embrace. “Oh, my poor Harry.” He said, feeling Henry begin to sob. 

\--

“Home so soon? I thought you were out causing trouble with your friend.” Mrs. Utterson teased as the butler brought her son into the living room where she was sitting with her tea. But her smile quickly faded as she took in the appearance of her son. His eyes and face were stained red from where he had been crying. “Oh, my darling, what’s wrong?” She asked holding her arms out for him. 

Gabriel ran over to his mother and hugged her tightly, feeling like he was going to cry again. “Oh, mother, Henry took me to the cemetery today, and we looked at his mother’s headstone, and-and he said that he didn’t want to fall in love because his wife might die like his mother did.”Gabriel stammered as he was starting to get the hiccups. “And t-that made me so sad because I-I-I want Henry to be happy, and I wan-t him to fall in love.”

“Oh, my sweet Gabriel,” Mrs. Utterson said, gently wiping away his tears, “The best thing you can do for poor Henry is to let him know that he  _ will _ find love, and losing someone you love is part of life, but he will always have his memories. Just like his father fondly remembers Clara.” 

Gabriel nodded, he knew talking to his mother was always a good idea. She was very caring and level-headed. She always knew what to say to make him feel better. When he was sad, or angry, or confused, she was there. And she  _ always  _ had the answer. 

That was why, a few months later, he asked her what it meant to fall in love. She answered with a “Hmm,” and then a, “well, when you fall in love you feel warm in your soul, a softness in your words when you speak of them, your heart beats faster and your breath falls short when they speak your name. And you know that there is nothing they could ever do to make you tire of them. Every brush of their skin against yours will be cherished. And you know that you’ll never have enough of them. And that you want to spend the rest of your days with them rather than any other person in the world.” She smiled, “Oh listen to me ramble on and on.” She shook her head. “Why do you ask? Has my baby boy fallen for a girl?” 

Gabriel panicked, “No, mother, it’s not like that, I was just curious is all.” His head swam in relief and agony. He now had a word for what he felt for Henry. It was love. However, Henry was the one person in the world fiercely against falling in love. Not only that, he  _ couldn’t  _ be in love with Henry, he was his best friend, and he was a boy. 

Why did Henry have to be a boy? That made this entire endeavor so much more  _ complicated _ . 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternate title: Victorian ten-year-old gay boy falls in love with his best friend and doesn't know how to act.


	3. Something old; Somethig new

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry has a ‘special place’ to take Gabriel, but when they get there Gabriel starts acting strange.

Lately, Gabriel was getting very jealous of Hastie Lanyon. He came from a big family, he was one of seven, while the closest thing Gabriel had to a sibling was his cousin Richard, who was six years his junior. Hastie was also brilliant, he made excellent marks in school and wanted to be a doctor. A very feasible dream for him. He was so outgoing and so well regarded by all of his classmates. He was very friendly, and well on his way to being a socialite. Like a friendly dog at the park, his presence was marked by excitement and crowding people around him. But what made Gabriel’s blood boil the most was that Hastie had managed to capture the attention of Henry Jekyll. He would talk for hours about his interest in the medical field, and how much he knew about the human body as an aspiring doctor, and Henry would just sit and listen, those perfect, blue eyes locked on Hastie the entire time. And if there was one thing Gabriel knew about Henry, it was that Henry did  _ not _ sit and listen. On the off chance that Henry came to class, he won’t even give Gabriel the time of day. His focus was on Hastie. The two were intellectually matched and discussed topics that were entirely new to Gabriel. He had no interest in science or medicine. Outside of topics pertaining to Henry, he had no idea what he was passionate about. 

He was fourteen now. Just as lanky, and just as shy, as he had always been. The one thing he couldn’t account for always being there were these new volatile emotions he was feeling. His head was a mess of disjointed thoughts and feelings that he simply couldn’t keep up with. It was  _ exhausting.  _

A glance in the direction of Henry made him feel worse. Those eyes were as blue as ever, and not focused in his direction. His hair was still as wild and thick as ever, maybe even more so, now. His cute little freckles were just a memory, as he was turning into a handsome, smooth-faced gentleman. He was still a troublemaker but in a more mature way. He wasn’t a little boy, disobeying his father in a harmless, mischievous way. He was now roaming the streets of London at night looking for trouble. He was skipping class more and more often, saying it was boring and that he knew enough already. 

“I wish Henry was as well behaved as your boy,” Gabriel overheard Mr. Jekyll say at one of his parent’s dinner parties, which Henry had been invited to but didn’t show. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard Gabriel speak.”

Mrs. Utterson chuckled, “I assure you he  _ can  _ speak, he just chooses not to.” 

“I just wish he was a little more friendly. He’ll never find a wife being so cold to everyone.” Mr. Utterson chimed in. 

Gabriel wasn’t concerned with finding a wife. That was the least of his concerns. He left the room as quietly as he entered, nobody even noticing the brief amount of time he spent there. He went back up to his room and sat down on his bed. He bounced his knee as a flush of annoyance overcame him.  _ “Why didn’t Henry come tonight? Did he not want to see me?”  _ He thought as he wiped his eyes with his sleeve. Henry usually came with his father to dinner. His mother had made it clear that Henry was always welcome. The two boys sat in the garden and talked, or sometimes, if Gabriel was feeling brave, they’d join the adults at the table, but that was a rare occurrence. When they were younger Gabriel would take Henry to his bedroom, however, now that he was older, that wasn’t appropriate anymore. His brief moment of sorrow was replaced by anger. If Henry wanted to spend all his time with Hastie, he would let him. He wasn’t going to chase Henry when he has aloof at best. He didn’t want to waste the energy. 

However, that was easier said than done. 

The next day Gabriel encountered Henry on his walk to school. He held his books closer to his chest and tried his best not to melt into Henry’s attractive hands. 

“Hello Henry,” He said coldly, “I notice you don’t have your books, I’m assuming you’re cutting class again today.”

Henry smiled, “My goodness, you notice everything, no wonder you’re the teacher’s favorite.” Henry sneered, placing a hand on his hip. “I want you to skip class with me today.”

“Why not with your best friend, Hastie? You two have been as thick as thieves here lately.” He said sharply.

Henry rolled his eyes, “Hastie is so concerned with being perfect, he’s forgotten how to have fun.” 

Gabriel glared at him for a moment before pushing past him, continuing on his way, “Well you have fun today, Harry. But some of us take our education seriously.” 

“Oh come on Gabriel.” Henry called after him “It will just be the two of us!” 

Gabriel paused. “Just you and me?” 

“Yeah, we’ll have a lovely time, I promise.” 

Gabriel shook his head. “No, I cannot skip class with you, Henry.”

“Oh, but It’s just awful having to go to school on a rainy day.” 

“I will admit that the weather isn’t pleasant today, but I’d rather be inside the schoolhouse than outside with you when it does start raining.”

“I never said anything about being outside. I have a special place to show you.” Henry said. 

“What kind of place?” Gabriel asked, turning around to face Henry. 

“That would spoil the surprise!” Henry giggled, “But you’re going to love it, I know you will.” 

“How many others have seen this ‘secret’ place?”

“Nobody! Well, nobody _ I _ know of, you’re the only person I want to bring there.” 

Gabriel was sure he was lying, but his curiosity was piqued. He stared at Henry for a moment before he gave in to those pleading eyes. “Fine.”

Henry smiled and grabbed Gabriel by the wrist. “It’s quite a walk from here, but it’s worth it, I promise.” He said leading the way. They walked down the street, for some time with Henry’s hand wrapped around his wrist, until he convinced the other boy to switch to something a little more comfortable for him. So Henry unhanded his wrist and grabbed Gabriel’s hand instead. What seemed trivial to Henry sent Gabriel over the moon. He was going to faint, his hand was being held tightly by Henry Jekyll as he dragged his companion along with him, talking about his 'special place’ the entire time. Henry picked up the pace when they heard thunder in the distance behind them. 

They came to a very dreary, old part of the city. Everything about it screamed danger to Gabriel. There were few people on the street, but the ones that were gave them a harsh gaze. They knew these two boys were up to no good. The houses soon ended and there up on a hill was a dilapidated old mansion. Surely they weren’t going  _ there _ . But knowing Henry, Gabriel quickly realized they were, in fact, going  _ there _ . 

The closer they got to it the worse of a sight it became.  _ “Nothing good can come of this”  _ was the only thought rigging through Gabriel’s head. Henry was pulling on his arm harder now, urging him up the hill and up to the front porch. The pristine white walls were now dirty and covered in plant life, the ivy was climbing up to the roof in some spots. The entire left-wing had collapsed. The wood on the porch was a very nice expensive mahogany but had since been bleached from the sun shining on it, and it was now rotting. The old wood steps creaked under Henry’s weight as he ascended them pulling Gabriel along with him. 

“You really don’t expect me to go in there, do you?” Gabriel asked, trembling. 

“Of course I do! This is the secret place!” 

“You can’t be serious. The roof could collapse on us at any moment.” Gabriel said in a hushed voice as if his concern could speak it into happening. 

“Oh, come now Gabriel, I’ve been in here several times and nothing has happened to me. Nobody has lived here in ages.” 

“ _ That _ is the least of my concerns. It looks wholly structurally unsound. The roof could cave in, the floorboards could give way beneath us, a gust of wind could send the walls crashing down around us.” 

“It really is a lot more sturdy than it looks. I want to show you the library!” 

Gabriel sighed, “Fine.” 

Henry smiled and pushed the door open, it was already sitting ajar when the two arrived. The hinges creaked, they were rusty and looked as if they could not support the door’s weight much longer. The two boys stepped inside the foyer the carpet had been chewed apart by rats, and it was dusty and discolored. Henry strode through as if this was his house, while Gabriel crept close behind watching carefully where he stepped. The library was a small room off to the side, sharing a wall with the drawing-room. It had no door, instead just a large archway, which, when the house was occupied must have been endearing, but now just sent chills up Gabriel’s spine. 

A large chunk of the ceiling had caved in, but the bookshelves were fine. Some of the books were scattered about on the floor, but most had stayed up on the shelves. The pages were wrinkled and frail. So old they might turn to dust if they were disturbed. Gabriel poked around the books and the table in the center of the room, setting his books down on it for a moment. 

“Where does this door go?” He asked, pointing to a gap in the bookshelves. 

“I’ll show you” Henry smiled and swung the door open. “It’s a laboratory!” He said walking inside. 

Gabriel looked around the counters covered with glassware of all kinds. Beakers, vials, flasks, and some other oddly shaped cups that he couldn’t name. “I wonder what went on in here,” Gabriel said gazing around, his eyes resting on the anatomical drawings hanging up on the walls. 

“I have no idea, but when I grow up I’d love to have a house with a built-in laboratory.” Henry smiled. And for the first time since they got here, Gabriel smiled too. 

“I would like to visit you in your laboratory when you get older.”

“Oh, of course, I’ll have a chair for you to sit in and watch me work.” Henry giggled. 

“I’d like that,” the other responded softly. Henry went back to poking about the lab, daring to pick up a few beakers and investigate them, but Gabriel just stood in place, watching him. 

“How much of this house have you explored, Henry.” He finally asked. 

Henry turned around to look at him, still holding a beaker. “Just the first floor, I haven’t got the courage to go upstairs.” He said blushing. 

“Well,” Gabriel began, “We could go up there together.”  _ “What am I saying? Of course, we can’t go up there, we’d fall right through the floorboards!” _

“My goodness, Gabriel, so brave.” Henry drawled, strolling over to his companion to playfully punch his arm. Gabriel felt his face get hot, surely he was red as a tomato right now, but he was trying his damndest not to show it. But that was very difficult for him, especially now that Henry was grabbing his hand. “Let’s go!” He grinned. 

Gabriel swallowed and led Henry out of the lab and to the staircase. He looked up at the darkness that awaited them at the top uneasily. But he couldn’t let Henry see, he couldn’t let Henry know how scared he was. Oh god, was he  _ showing off  _ for Henry, his oldest and dearest friend? He was! He was trying to impress Henry. He wasn’t sure why, but when his realization dawned on him he was already halfway up the staircase. Each step threatened to break beneath him, creaking under his weight. But he powered on, not noticing Henry following close behind him, pale as a ghost. 

Both boys took a moment to catch their breath as they made it to the second story. They were standing in a corridor with several doors, all shut. The rats scuttled across the floor, alarmed by the presence of people. It had been quite some time since there had been people up here. Gabriel led Henry to one of the doors and pushed it open. 

It was a bedroom. The curtains of the bed sat drawn and tied up neatly. The covers and pillows were dusty and old but sat arranged just perfectly. There was an armoire, with the shape of flowers carved into the dark, weathering wood. Other than those two pieces of furniture there wasn’t much else in the room. Gabriel went over to investigate the bed. The quit that sat atop the sheets was white and lilac. The curtains were also white, made from some kind of semi-transparent material. The headboard was the same dark wood as the armoire, with the same flowers carved into it. 

“I wonder what kind of person lived here,” Henry said, examining one of the bedposts. 

“I don’t know,” Gabriel shrugged. “A scholar, that’s for sure, judging by the lab, and the library.”

“It’s kind of strange,” Henry began, “being in the bedroom of someone you’ve never met.” 

“I suppose so,” Gabriel said, looking over at Henry who was sitting on the bed now, Gabriel tried not the think about all the bugs and rats that had probably climbed all over it as he sat next to Henry. 

“Do you think we’ll always be this close?” Henry asked suddenly, “or will we drift apart as we get older?” 

Gabriel stared at him for a second before replying, “I will always think of you as my best friend, Henry. If there ever is a distance between us it would mean I am truly miserable.”

Henry smiled for a moment before changing the subject before things got too emotional. “What do you think they’re doing in school right now?”

“Nothing I care to participate in. I’m perfectly happy here with you. I’m always happy with you, Henry.”

The two of them sat on the bed and talked for a few hours. But Henry had a way to make those hours pass like seconds. He was very good at it. They hadn’t realized how much time they spent in that dusty old room, sitting on the bed together until the storm outside began to get worse. The rain fell against the window that was no longer there, sitting, instead, in fragments on the ground below the window pane. The roof was leaking now, letting a few silver raindrops fall onto both of the boys’ heads. They didn’t mind, though, they giggled about it. Henry even laid back against the mattress to let the water drip across his body. His shirt had become untucked at some point throughout the day and it had now ridden up, showing off a little bit his flat stomach. Gabriel had to hold his wrist to prevent himself from reaching over and pulling Henry’s shirt the rest of the way up. 

That afternoon and Gabriel came home, his hair wet and clothes covered in dust and cobwebs it was evident that he had not attended school that day. But his mother still greeted him and asked him about school. He answered curtly, as to not draw attention to himself. His mind was still awhirl with thoughts of Henry and what he must look like underneath his clothes. The glimpse of skin might have been too much for the fourteen-year-old. But one thing was clear: 

Henry Jekyll was Gabriel’s worst distraction. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This part is way longer than I intended it to be, but yeah, our poor boy Gabriel is dealing with a crush on his best friend and puberty at the same time. Damn.


	4. To leave youth behind, not to leave love behind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry and Gabriel go out together late one night and share some thoughts and feelings with one another, mostly their future anxieties.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is way shorter than the part before it lol, I hope you enjoy it :))

The candle flickered, burnt down to nothing but a few centimeters of wax. The wick still held the flame, but just barely. The smallest movement could put the fire out, leaving Gabriel in total darkness. But he paid no mind to the shadows the dying light threw across his room, he just continued to pace. It had to be midnight by now, but the seventeen-year-old was restless. In a few weeks, he’d start his last year of high school, and then he’d be off to university. He cast a glance in the direction of the mirror and caught his reflection staring back at him. He strode up to the full-body mirror and took in his own, disheveled appearance. His copper hair was wild, not as wild as that of Henry Jekyll, but it was wild for him, as someone who kept his hair combed neatly. His dusty red locks were getting long, he’d soon have to have it cut again, however, he wondered what it would be like to let it grow out like Henry had. His rich brown hair looked as if it was crafted by the finest chocolatier in the world. A luxury very few could afford. His golden-brown locks were thick and wavy. He tried to contain his gorgeous mane in a low ponytail, but the ribbon simply could not hold all of that wild hair that, much like Henry himself, did not behave. But his hair suited him. It was just as wild, just as elegant, and just as beautiful. 

It had been a few years since his hormones piqued so dramatically and mixed with his already confusing feelings about his dear friend. He was doing better now, no longer as possessive. He had a few other incidences with Henry similar to the one in that abandoned mansion, and looking back on it caused his cheeks to flush pink out of shame. At the time, he just wanted to grab Henry tightly and never let go. But, that wasn’t very proper, was it?

He sighed and was planning to continue his pacing but paused in his tracks when he heard a tapping at his window.

Only a few moments later, another tap came about his window, then another. His room was on the second story, surly nobody was actually tapping on his window, it had to be something hitting against it. He turned away from the mirror and strode over to the other side of his bedroom to investigate the source of this tapping. As he peered out the window into the darkness a small pebble gently collided with the glass, making a small tap. Gabriel figured this was the case, he sighed opening his window and looking down to the alleyway behind his house. 

Standing there, in the musty, autumn night, was none other than Henry Jekyll. He was holding and a handful of pebbles to grab his friend’s attention with. Hastie was also with him, Gabriel admittedly paid him less attention. They both looked up at the other teen expectantly. They had done this before, all three of them knew what they wanted from the other. 

Gabriel shut his window and as quickly and quietly as possible made his way down the stairs and to the front door, stopping for just a moment to grab his coat before dashing out the front door and into the back alley. The two teens waited for their friends to join them and make them into a trio, then without a word, they were off.

As tradition with these midnight meetings, Gabriel walked between Hastie and Henry to keep them from bickering, however, that was not always enough. They were now out of earshot from Gabriel’s house and the two started in on one another, fighting over some scientific theory. Gabriel had no clue what they were going on about, but he always listened in anyway, fully prepared to jump in and put a stop to the arguing if one of them took it too far. At least they were passionate, that was for sure. 

“I think it’s complete drivel. Wholly unscientific.” Hastie said. 

“Well, I think you’re complete drivel.” Henry snapped. 

“Nice retort Henry, I didn’t realize we were still in the second grade.” Hastie hissed. 

“Okay, Hastie that’s it.” Henry stopped walking and lurched towards Hastie. “I hope you’ve made peace with your maker!” 

Gabriel was quick to react to Henry bracing up for a scuffle and put both hands on the other teen’s chest, hindering his efforts to...Well, Gabriel wasn’t really sure what exactly Henry was planning to do. 

“That’s quite enough.” Gabriel scolded, “can’t you two get along for one night?”

Hastie looked down at his feet and Henry let his muscles relax as he came out of his fighting stance. “Sorry Gabriel,” they said in unison. 

“You two are standing on the cusp of adulthood. This time next year we’ll all be starting university. I should hope you settle this bad blood between you before that.” 

“In my defense,” Henry began, “Hastie started it.”

“Like hell I did, you’ve been looking for a fight since day one, Henry Jekyll.” Hastie retorted. 

“I don’t care who started it. I’m ending it.” Gabriel said sharply. “You two fight like cats and dogs.” 

Silence fell on the trio for a moment before Henry and Hastie agreed to try to get along. They continued to traipse along the street, beside the river, peering over the guard rails every so often to look at the dark water. This was what they liked, they never strayed too far from the river, they just wanted to enjoy being close to the water, relaxing in the chill of night, enjoying feeling nocturnal for a bit, even though the sleepiness caught up with them eventually. One by they would peel off from the group and retire back to their respective houses, careful not to wake their parents upon their re-entry. On this particular night, Hastie was the first to tire out and head homeward, leaving Gabriel and Henry standing beneath a streetlight. The light flickered, burning low, and Gabriel thought back to the sputtering candle he left in his room, sitting on his desk with his college applications. 

Henry drifted over to the guard rail, there to keep them from falling in the river. He looked at it with a chuckle. 

“Gabriel, look what I can do. ” He said, pulling his companion out of his thoughts. The seventeen-year-old pulled his slender body up and balanced on the top of the half-wall. He held out his arms and wobbled side to side. 

“Henry!” Gabriel exclaimed, “You’ll fall into the river! Get down from there.” 

Henry laughed, “I won’t fall, I’ve got you here.”

“But what if I can’t catch you?” Gabriel asked, his voice shaking with emotion he never meant to let slip out. 

Henry paused and looked at him for a moment then sat down, his legs dangling over the side facing Gabriel. “You’re not being serious, right?” 

“I am,” Gabriel said, leaning against the guard rail, his elbow brushing against his beloved’s side, “Listen, Henry, I haven’t got a clue to what the future holds for us. We will grow up and we will be men one day, isn’t that terrifying? One day you will fall, and I won’t be able to catch you.” 

“What makes you say that?” Henry asked resting a hand on his gloomy friend’s shoulder. 

Gabriel sighed, “You are brilliant. You and Hastie will go to the best university around. You’ll make heaps of new friends, as the most charming person in all of London. You won’t be able to keep the girls off of you, I’ve never met a more handsome boy. And I’ll be left behind. Mediocre at best. And if you fall, you won’t even remember my name to call on me.” 

“Gabriel John Utterson, I am surprised by you,” Henry said. “You should know by now, I shall never leave you. You mean the world to me.” He said gently stroking Gabriel’s cheek, “I am as devoted to you as a wife is devoted to her husband.” 

Gabriel smiled, his eyes tearing, he dared to think for a moment what it might be like to be Henry’s  _ husband _ . No, no, that was quite illegal, and even if it wasn’t, it would be pure hell trying to find a minister to officiate it. And besides, Henry probably didn’t feel the same way he did. 

“I love you,” Henry began, those four words froze Gabriel’s blood, “I love you like a brother.”

Gabriel felt his heart break in two. “Like a brother,” he repeated softly. 

Henry ruffled Gabriel’s hair, “You know Gabriel, you worry too much, your hair will turn grey before we are forty!” Henry teased, “What a shame that would be, your hair is such a lovely color.”

“You really think so?” Gabriel asked, trying his hardest not to leap into Harry’s arms and cover him in kisses. 

Henry nodded, “It’s so very interesting how genetics work.” 

“I don’t know much of genetics,” Gabriel admitted, sitting on the wall beside Henry. 

“Well,” Henry began. Gabriel had opened Pandora’s box and gotten Henry off on a scientific rant. He didn’t mind it all that much, he could listen to Henry for eternity. Especially now, his voice had lowered into a silky and sweet, but very proper sound. 

Gabriel leaned his head on Henry’s shoulder, testing his boundaries. Henry smiled at the small act of affection and patted his friend’s head. 

“I’ll stay here as long as you let me, Henry, but if I am ever a burden, please let me know.” 

“Gabriel, I wish to have you by my side for the rest of my life.”

And for the rest of his life, that’s where Gabriel planned on staying. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to research how victorian boys got into uni and what age they went to college at but I couldn’t find anything via the resources at my disposal so sorry for any historical inaccuracies.


	5. dream jornal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel is having trouble sleeping, on account of the strange dreams he’s been having about none other than his eccentric love interest. So he begins keeping a dream journal, but things take a turn for the worst when Henry reads said journal.

There he was again. Gabriel knew this place well, and not only recognized the scenery, but he also remembered the feeling of the soft grass under his bare feet, the warmness of the sun on his skin, and the scent of flowers that also carried hints of water with it. He could hear the breeze rustle the leaves of the trees that were  _ bursting  _ with life and the soft sound of rushing water. He breathed the clean air deep into his lungs. There was a country house and a waterwheel behind him, gently rolling as the clear water turned it. He understood that this house was his. His and Henry’s. They were both older now, and they had been married for years. Life was quiet and gentle out here on the countryside. Another gentle breeze ruffled his hair as Gabriel opened his eyes. Henry had just come out of their house and walked up to his husband. They were wearing the same thing. A loose white shirt with the first few buttons undone, brown trousers, and suspenders to match. Neither of them had any shoes. Henry gently grabbed Gabriel’s hand. Here was where it always got fuzzy. Sometimes Henry would speak, his voice sounding far off sometimes he would just stand there in silence, and sometimes he would cry. This time he was quiet, he just held Gabriel’s hand tightly. They stood together and watched the wind gently push the wildflowers to and fro. Their world was at peace, now as they stood there together, Henry softly kissed Gabriel’s cheek before leaning his head on his companion’s shoulder. Gabriel felt his eyes tear up, he would have to leave soon. He knew that. The little taste of Henry’s love he got every night was gone, and he could bear it no longer. 

He woke up just before dawn. It was cold and dark in his dorm room. He sat up in bed for a moment before reaching under his pillow and pulling out a leather-bound journal. This dream was a recurring one, and he only needed to add a simple annotation to know that he had his same dream four nights in a row. After all, this journal was for his eyes only. Well, his and Lanyon’s. The doctor-to-be had offered to help Utterson make sense of these dreams that were making him lose so much sleep. But he couldn’t tell anyone about his...less than proper feeling for his dear old Harry, not even Lanyon. So he changed some details here and there. And some of his dreams were too libidinous to save. He walked over to his desk in the corner of the room, bringing his journal with him. He scribbled down today’s date and made note that Henry did not speak this time, but it was the same dream as last night and the night before. 

Gabriel felt his skin prickle as the coldness of his room set in. Like a harpy sinking its claws into a field mouse, the warm glow of Utterson’s dream bled out and he was left in the coldness of a dark winter morning. He missed the sunshine, it was quickly leaving him as this winter had turned out to be a very cold and very dark one. The days passed more and more overcast. Something terrible was on the horizon and Gabriel felt it down deep in his bones. 

With a shiver, he rose, and figured since he was awake, he might as well get dressed. His first class of the day wouldn’t be staring for hours, but he was scarcely likely to get a wink of sleep after that dream. It hurt. It hurt bad. To know that the intimacy he craved, that he  _ chased  _ would never be given to him in a way that would satisfy him. But rather, leave him on his knees begging for more. He needed  _ more. _ He wanted to hold, or to be held by his beloved Harry Jekyll, he would take either position at this point. This unnatural craving of his was getting out of control. He could have wept over the fact that he would never have  _ enough  _ of Henry. He was left to grasp at it blindly. 

Utterson was losing sleep over it. That was why Lanyon got involved in the first place, he noticed his friend was always dozing off in class and that just wasn’t like him. He had always been studious, he had to be to keep his head above water and pass his classes. But he had been slipping as of late. Henry Jekyll was just so damn  _ distracting _ . Gabriel thought about it, he had always dreamed about Henry here and there, small things, sensual things, intimate things, but he never lost sleep over it. Things had never become this unbearable, the source of these dreams could be traced back to a lovely day last summer, what felt like a lifetime ago, but actually a few months prior. 

* * *

It had been a very gentle summer day, the sun was shining high up in the sky, the warmness sinking into Gabrel’s bones, and igniting the child that still remained inside of him. Recklessness jumper to the forefront of his mind, like the phases of the moon, could affect a person, the presence of the sun very much affected him. He had seen Henry just a week prior at his eighteenth birthday party, but now his longtime friend was dragging him back up the hill to where that mansion sat rotting. Where, as young boys, they had a handful of adventures in. None as eventful as their first time, though. And consequentially, their visits grew fewer, until they found something new to get into. It was gone now, that old mansion burned away late one night, like kindling in the fireplace, and all that was left of the once large structure was an empty field, already reclaimed by plantlife, and a lone chimney. The two men were trying to be boys one last time before the fall semester began, and they jumped headfirst into university. So they shed their coats, suit jackets, waistcoats, and shoes. They were just in their trousers and button-downs now. Running and playing as if they were boys again. Rolling down the hill and carrying on like madmen. They laughed and fell in the grass, staining their white shirts, they picked flowers and chased the bees, only getting stung once or twice. And when they were out of breath they laid on their backs, looking up at the clouds overhead. Their breathing was quick and heavy, they had dirt under their nails now, not really sure how it got there, There was a stray blade of grass tangled in Henry’s rich brown hair. He was flushed pink, panting like a dog. Gabriel looked at his friend from his spot in the overgrown grass, where he laid, trying just as hard as Henry to catch his breath. 

“Gabriel?” Henry asked suddenly.

“Yes, Henry?” returned the other. 

Henry paused to think about it for a moment before speaking, “Am I a good person?” 

Gabriel was taken aback for a moment, “Of course you are,” he said sitting up, looking down at Henry, who was still laying down. 

His blue eyes were searching the sky for answers, flicking about, silently questioning the heavens above. “What do you call a good person who wants bad things?” He sighed, “Are they, bad people? Are-are  _ we  _ bad people?” Henry seemed overcome by a wave of queasiness. 

Gabriel thought about it. “We aren’t bad people, Henry.” That was all he could think to say. 

“I am a bad person. Somewhere inside of me, there is a wickedness that is begging for release.” Henry said softly. 

Gabriel thought about it. About how he yearned for Henry’s body, and how foul that made him. How he’d never want to lie with a woman, but rather a man, or rather Henry. He was sure whatever wickedness that was inside of Henry was not as bad. Henry wasn’t bad. “You aren’t a bad person, perhaps just misunderstood.” He half-told Henry, half-told himself. 

Henry sat up, and it was only now that Gabriel noticed the first few buttons of his shirt had come undone. 

“Henry,” He said gently, “You’re not wearing an undershirt” 

Henry giggled, “And what of it?”

“Just making an observation,” He said, involuntarily locking eyes with the other gentleman. 

Henry undid another one of his buttons and fell backward into the grass again. “I like to be free,” he proclaimed loudly, adding a few extra e’s to the end of that last word. 

Gabriel chuckled, this was Henry at his most earnest and uninhibited. And even as the seasons changed and they left for a higher education, his dreams stayed locked in that eternal summer. 

* * *

Utterson sat in the library with Lanyon, the young doctor-to-be was reading over the pages of his meticulously kept dream journal. 

“The same dream three nights in a row?” Hastie asked, “there must be something important about it then.” 

Gabriel nodded, almost dozing off, while Lanyon talked of Freud and dream interpretation and phycology as a whole. And when Lanyon had just about talked Utterson’s ear off they decided to leave the library as Gabriel couldn’t afford to lose more sleep. 

And that night after he woke from another dream of Henry that made him long for the other man’s touch, he reached under his pillow to retrieve his journal in that same waking ritual but was gripped in horror when he could not find it. 

He must have left it at the library! Oh, how he panicked and sprung out of bed, he dressed quickly and rushed out of his dorm and to the library. He flung the door open, and who did he see? The one and only Henry Jekyll, sitting at a table reading a leather-bound journal. There it was. The  _ worst-case _ scenario right there in flesh and blood. 

He looked up at his disheveled classmate. “Oh, my dear Gabriel, I promise I was planning on returning this to you, first thing in the morning!”

“How did you know it was mine?” The lawyer-to-be said sitting down across from him. 

“I like to think I know you pretty well, my friend. I know how you sound when you write, and I’m very familiar with your handwriting.” He smiled. “Do you really dream about these things? About me?” 

All the color had drained from Utterson’s face. He shut his mouth tight and nodded, not able to speak as his throat grew dry. 

“I would like to visit you in your dreams sometimes, Gabriel, they sound very lovely.”

“You already do. Every night.” 

Henry seemed to like hearing that, his face brightened. “I still think about that day, too, in that field with you. I remember it very well.” He paused for a moment, “What did you dream of tonight, Gabe?” He asked leaning in. 

Memories rushed back to him, however distant and foggy they were now, “Well, I don’t remember it too well, but it was very sunny, and you were there,” he said quietly, “And Hastie was with us,” he lied, “we were all picking flowers together.”

Henry closed his eyes and took a deep breath inwards as if he could smell the flowers that were being described to him. “Sounds lovely,”

“It was,” Gabriel said in hushed tones, feeling Jekyll set his hand atop his companion’s. 

It was very lovely. Jekyll’s words, not his. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tried a little bit of a different framing device for this one, hope it’s okay!

**Author's Note:**

> A little different from what I normally write, but I had fun writing it, and I'm excited to start working on part 2 ^^ Special thanks to my waifu for helping me proofread/edit <3


End file.
